All hail the King
I don’t know if any of you have a fish tank, but I do and its awesome! So relaxing to go feed my fish and get attacked by my god damn CATFISH! Dude, he’s a MONSTAH! He’ll try to gnaw my finger off when I feed him by hand! And he’s literally eaten at least 8 of the last ten fish we’ve bought for the tank! The little bastard just sits in his little vase all day like he’s king of the Acquarium…
Sometimes I’ll put Catfish in his place, I’ll grab the iron skillet, heat it up red hot, put some oil in it and wave it around with a bag of corn meal in front of him. He’ll be like;
NO TOMMY NO! DON’T EAT ME TOMMY! I’LL BE GOOD, NO MORE BITING! PROMISE!!!
So we moved the other day and I had to drain the fish tank some. I used this to my advantage and showed King Catfish who’s boss again… Drained that tank till he could barely flop around in it and stuck him in the back of the truck.
The tank was so heavy the water was all sloshing around as I carried him to the truck. I was tired walking down them stairs, I admit, but I did let myself shake and shudder a bit more than necessary to scare his ass more. That shit musta been crazy from his perspective though. Probably like a tidal wave in there and all he could see was me about to fall and the road ahead he’d be flopping around in if I dropped him. I could hear him shouting…
TOMMY NOOO!!! PLEASE DON’T DROP ME TOMMY!
Finally got him into the truck though and then stuck the cat in its carrier right beside the damn fish so they could stare into each others eyes for the entire duration of the long, dark, trip…
No shit, me and Spike could literally hear the catfish crying the whole way to Tewksbury…
NO TOMMY NOOOO!!! ILL BE GOOD… PLEASE DON”T LET THAT CAT EAT ME!!! PLEASEE!!!
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