Published on June 8th, 2012 | by Tommy Sunshine0
Mediocre thoughts, vitriolic loathing
Recently I’ve come to a point in life where I am beginning to feel old. I would like to attach a label to this point in my life and realize its probably what some may call a mid-life crisis. Of course, I don’t feel like I’m in any crisis, nothing so dramatic for me. But I’ve found the events surrounding me have a more profound effect upon my state of mind. I just don’t have it in me so much any more to keep so positively blind in my optimism. The whole reason I even call my stage persona Sunshine is simply because I always attempt to keep a smile on my face, a bounce in my step, an ambition of happiness to share with others. Lately though, damn, its been tough.
My step kids are insane, I have a firm belief in this and I don’t give two shits to deal with their drama. But I have to let this out somewhere and guess what people, today is you’re lucky day. Good luck sifting through this crap, its going to be a mess! Ya know, I have a very difficult time understanding why my wife coddles to these two girls? One is 26 the other 31 and they have problems with their lives which are 100% their own. Yet, oh my god, how we must do everything in our power to rescue these adults from their decades of mistakes. I guess what aggravates me the most is this, why do I have to be included in their drama? Bottom line, grow the fuck up and don’t ask for shit from us, we can barely make ends meet ourselves. I’m sorry you fucked your life with drugs, stripping, fucking, and all the rest but those are things you have done and continue to do every day! You’re a big girl now, leave us alone! Its like they’re not happy unless they make us sad. Well, mom at least, I could give a shit. I just get pissed because when I tell mom to STFU I don’t wanna hear it, now I’m an asshole. Yep, amazing you just figured that out my 3rd wife.
Work fucking sucks! My job is a great job when I sit back and think about it. Work truck, set my own schedule basically, great salary with overtime if I go over 40, cool boss. But damn, if I don’t hate the whole, on call 24/7/365 unless on vacation routine. I don’t wanna slam my job too bad, I think its just boils down to my desire to be free from a normal work routine… I wish to be able to devote my efforts entirely to a creative path and now I recognize the chances of this ever happening are slim to non-existent. Someone call a wahbulance!
So now I’ve come to the point where I point the finger at myself. FAT! Holy shit, kid, what the fuck? Four years back, I weighed in at 290 pounds. I freaked out and went on a gym craze and lost 100 pounds, 90 of which I’ve since found! My blood pressure is high again, my head feels like its about to explode with all kinds of cholesterol, msg, and saturated fat. Yet I still drink a 6 pack a night and eat like I’ve eaten my whole life without hitting the gym on a regular basis. I think what I’m doing is abusing myself by creating this negative self image to give me an excuse for being depressed about the world around me which is a lot better than many in this world will ever see. Ug, I’m so fat, I turned off my latest Comedy Studio dvd 1 minute in after hearing Mr. Beam encourage me to say Fuck 3 times in the first ninety seconds and the inability to watch my fat ass on stage. I’m 10 hours sober, yay!
And now I’m writing it here, on my comedy website! Yay, lots ‘o laughs people! Really though, its all good, these are things which I think about every day, just a little bit anyways. I know you all out there have thoughts which are similar in nature, I don’t want to take away from anyone else’s pain in life, I just want to whine about mine for a little bit.