Published on June 28th, 2012 | by Tommy Sunshine0
Been a year now since I’ve been in search of how to best bare my soul in the pursuit of making audiences laugh. Man, I did some stupid things starting out which I really didn’t comprehend until spending a few days driving around from mic to mic. I do apologize to those of you whom I may have irritated or been a douche bag to in my first year. I think for the most part I’ve been a pretty good guy to the majority of folks I’ve met, I sure try. There are a few I should work on apologizing to though, I know.
But damn, some good times. I read somewhere to write every day in your notebooks but don’t read them for several months. I planned to save this until I’d been doing comedy for a year. So I have a drawer full of my notebooks to go over which I’m excited about. I know my first few months I wrote incessantly, every day, about everything going on around me which I’ve kind of cut out preferring to only scribe the memorable moments and ideas into my books. Well that and set lists of course. Stoked about that.
The ups and downs. The first 10 months I admit I felt unstoppable save for a few hiccups. These last two months have been somewhat rough though. I took a writing class which actually shook my confidence in my writing which in turn made me stronger at writing jokes, but it was the first thing which just bummed me out. Next I kind of just been a bitch lately taking too many days off. Look, I have this obsessive balls to the wall ethic surrounding things which drive me. A lot of times, I’ll push, push, push, push, until it seems like I don’t recognize the results I think I should be seeing. Then I slack off and kinda let things slide to the point of abandonment at times. Like my weight loss/gain/loss/gain. I guess its somewhat explained by my diagnoses of ADD last year, but I’ve not been keeping up with the therapy so there is that. Anyway.
This feeling of you suck, you’re spinning your wheels, you’ll never succeed in comedy, just keep fattening up, perhaps have a stroke from that errant fat globule in your brain housing group, these things have all been bringing me down for the last couple months. I think the biggest thing which affects me is my weight. I feel like such a failure at times having done such an amazing job shaping up a few years back. Then spending the last year and a half putting it all back on. I vaguely remember a point when I first started doing jokes about going over fat material but thinking I wasn’t really that fat yet. So I am thinking, perhaps I can shift all the blame upon that. But whatever! The point of my rambling is this, yes, I have been down, but in the last few weeks I realized the same old pattern was upon me. And this time, I choose to break the mold and ignore the path to normalcy, to step it up and keep on pushing the fight towards Sunshine!
I wanna thank everyone who supports, laughed with and at me, who reads, who listens and ask that you continue to do so and never hesitate to approach me by any non-violent methods !